OKAY, I'M A CHUNKY GIRL.. I AM NOT LACKING IN FOOD.. FOR PETE'S SAKE.. (WHO IS PETE AGAIN?) I'M OVERFLOWING WITH CHUNKOLICIOUS BEAUTY HERE.. BUT IF MY STOMACH DOESN'T STOP EATING ITSELF FROM THE INSIDE OUT I'M GOING TO SERIOUSLY GO NUTS. -- GRANMA.. COULD YOU PLEASE SEND BACON, BISCUITS, AND GRAVY TO 123 FORTENHODGE LANE AND I'D BE HAPPY TO SEND YOU A TIP IN THE MAIL. ALSO, TO THE BIRD THAT FLEW INTO MY WINDOW AND SCARED THE LITERAL CRAP OUT OF ME.. I HOPE HEAVEN IS NICE, YOUR CROOKED (BUT NON-BREATHING) REMAINS ARE STILL ON MY FRONT PORCH.. BUT I'M STILL SHOOK UP FROM THE FREAKISHLY LOUD, GUNSHOT SOUNDING, INTRUDER DAMAGING IMPACT YOU MADE ON MY FRESHLY WINDEXED WINDOW TO DO YOU A THE KIND FAVOR OF SCOOPING YOUR FLUFFY LITTLE SELF UP. IF FOR SOME REASON A HUNGRY STRAY CAT HASN'T PICKED YOU UP BY NOON, I'LL GIVE YOU A PROPER BURIAL. FOR ALL THOSE READING THIS BEFORE 7AM, OBVIOUSLY YOUR MORNING HAS EITHER BEEN JUST AS CHAOTIC AS MINE.. OR BORING AS HECK... EITHER WAY, CONGRATULATIONS ON GETTING A LITTLE INSIGHT INTO MY NEVER A DULL MOMENT LIFE!!!
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